Tim Burton’s Mothers day tears and fire alarms

What I don’t get, is why Alice went home.

In Tim Burton’s version, she doesn’t have a wonderful relationship with her mother, her father is dead, her sister is off and married, she doesn’t like her friends and she doesn’t want to marry Haymitch. She just doesn’t want to be there. Of course, she had duties and what not but to be honest, ‘Underland’, full of such unimaginable creativity, ruled by the white Queen just seemed like a much better option to somebody in her position to be honest.

Then again, it was all a dream, so it’s very well she chose to go home because she’d have just woken up in that rabbit hole disappointed anyway.

I think I’ll read the book again in summer. There’s too much revision that has to come first so I  cant read it now. POOP.

Haven’t continued with my happiness posts in a while. I’ve been pretty busy and if I do find time i’m too tired to find things i’m happy about.

Today is mother’s day. 

Amy, William and I decided we’d surprise mum by getting up really early and making breakfast for us all. HOWEVER, as we were all creeping around the kitchen, I was cooking bacon, William was setting the table and Amy was writing out the card and wrapping Mum’s presents, I accidentally burnt the bacon and the fire alarm, which rings through the entire pub and house started to SCREAM. We ran around frantically opening every single door and window in the building like turning it off quicker was actually going to prevent mum from waking up and spoiling the surprise. She shortly came running down in her dressing gown, followed promptly by my dad in his boxers ( a sight I NEVER wish to see ever again ) and took the bacon, which was still slowly cremating away on the hob ( I left it cooking in all the commotion) and threw it in the sink. ‘WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS GOING ON’ is all my half asleep father could say about three times before finally disconnecting the three or four fire alarms throughout the pub as Amy tried to hide mum’s presents from her and William hid from my dad’s rage.

I instantly burst into tears and cried ‘ I WAS JUST TRYING TO MAKE BREAAAAKFAAAAAAST’ and mum just started to laugh…. alot. and Dad’s expression softened as he hugged me. I was the laughing stock of the family.

Anyway, Mum scraped away the remains of the bacon and helped me start again before going upstairs to ‘pretend it never happened’, Dad went and bought us some more eggs ( the first ones were ruined ) Amy made a pot of tea and Williiam finished setting the table. 

The breakfast was lovely, the letter and presents us children got Mum made her AND DAD cry like babies ( or me half an hour before. ) and we got called ‘the best children ever.’ 

If brownie points were money i’d be living in a disney castle with a pink porsche by now.

Im very, very sleepy.

Love from me. x


The future is a scary place

I have spent the evening in the gym. I got home to see the pile of university prospectuses, sighed and went on to cry into my laughing cow cheese and bread-sticks dip pot. I stopped when I realised the cheese was watery and  no longer edible.

Alright, I’m not that pathetic.. but I feel it.

before today, I was set on taking a gap year after college, going to america, auditioning to be a disneyland face actor and working for a year, either successfully as a face character or if that failed, just in the park. I got really excited about it, it’s really sad. I researched the audition process, practised parts such as animation, where you’re asked to act out certain daily scenes without talking, I researched height, weight requirements, accommodation, a work visa, how to have the ‘disney look’ I watched endless videos,planned to have my hair back to the natural colour and to get a brace, and even practised my smile so it was less ‘gummy’ …like I said, really, really, unbelievably pathetic but it is exactly what I want to do, short term of course because the princesses can only be under the age of 27. Just for a year, then get a degree, a career etc.

However, today I went to a convention where they hold a little booth for lots of universities and I realised how important a degree is. Plus I don’t want to end up behind my friends and my boyfriend in life. I don’t want to graduate and start life a year later than everybody else. So I thought, if I go for three years, I’ll graduate when I’m twenty, thanks to my August birthday and then I’ll still be young enough to be a face character and older and more mature enough to live in america for 12 months alone.

But then I feel like I’m putting what I WANT to do on hold for what I NEED to do.

on top of that, I brought home 22 prospectuses today. 22. I don’t know which Uni to go to, I don’t know what degree I want to take because I wanted to do psychology, but i’m poo at A level and so it would’nt seem wise to try and do a degree. other than that, theres not a great deal i’m good at to be able to complete a degree in it.

Love, a very confused me x